How A Girl Destroyed The Twelve Year Old Me

I read a story the other day of a high school football game in Texas. You can read about it here. Anyway, it reminded me of something that happened the summer that I turned 12 years old. I had been playing Little League baseball and one of my teammates played tennis as well. In fact, his dad was a well known local tennis pro. So, my mom signs me up for his summer tennis camp at a local resort and I am given a new tennis racket for my 12th birthday.

Now, tennis camp was great. I had never played before and so I was learning the most basic things.....how to serve, how to backhand, etc. I actually thought I was getting pretty good, as far as a really bad beginner goes. Well, at the end of camp we were to have a tournament. Since I was a new player and still fairly bad, I was put into the girls bracket. There's a blow to my 12 year old ego. But I accepted it and attempted to get ready for the onslaught I didn't know was even coming. Who knew I was going to play some 13 year old girl who was a foot taller than me and had been playing for several years. Plus, I think on this day she was channeling her inner Chris Evert.

Now our match gets started and she is killing me. I can't even win a point much less a game. All the while, little Miss Priss is berating me for being so bad. Slap to my ego #2. She wins the first set 6-0. I don't even win one point. Not one time did she ever double fault or hit the ball into the net or out of bounds. A complete shutout. Now before we begin the second set, it was best 2 out of 3 sets, she walks off!! I didn't know what was happening. Turns out she went to get the instructor, my friends dad, and told him how bad I was and that she shouldn't have to waste her time finishing our match. Crazy. The instructor comes over and asks me if I was trying my best and I said yeah but she is so much better than me. He turns to her and tells her to finish the match or forfeit and she is clearly not happy with this answer.

We start the second set and she trying to finish me off as quickly as possible. This girl is killing my manhood before it even has a chance to begin. And then it happened. Finally!!! I win a point. No, she didn't make a bad shot. I hit a clear winner. I smoked that ball right past her. HA!! Time to save my future manhood so I talk some trash to her. "Take that!! Where were you on that shot!!" She pokes out her hip and places her hand on it and gives me the "You've got to be kidding me. I hate you" look. Ahhhhh, sweet victory. Well, I finish the match winning 3 points and losing to the self appointed prepubescent ball-bashing man-crusher by a score of 6-0 6-0.

What does this have to do with the football story? Well, not once did I whine about the beating I was taking. I just played as well as I could. I knew I was completely outclassed. I hung in there the entire match, looking for small victories like winning a single point. I learned some things that day. One, I was never going to be a very good tennis player. Two, sometimes you're going to be in a situation where you are a complete underdog. And three, when you're taking a beatdown, whether in tennis or in life, just buckle down, suck it up and focus on one small victory at a time.

If You Could Not Fail

Have you ever heard this question......What would you do if you knew you couldn't fail? Maybe you have heard some motivational speaker ask that question. Or maybe you have seen it on Facebook or some other social networking site. Have you thought of what your answer would be? Do you salivate over all the things that come to your mind? Do you see endless possibilities?

Maybe you would cure some disease or eradicate world hunger. Or possibly, you might become a professional athlete.....or musician.....or artist. Maybe you would solve the mysteries of the Universe. Maybe you go for that big promotion at your job. Whatever it is you would do, the question implies that you are removing  fears, removing boundaries that stand between you and your deepest desires. But there is something else that I take from the question.

When I see or hear this question, I think of.....boredom. Yeah, I said it. Boredom. How boring would life be if you went around knowing you could do anything? Where is the challenge? Where is the thrill and adrenaline surge that fear and possible failure bring? It reminds me of a story I heard a pastor tell. There is a fish....the name escapes me....that is caught on the east coast of the USA and then is transported by truck to the west coast. The fish are kept in a large storage tank with salt water to keep them fresh. but when the fish would arrive on the west coast they would be soft and mushy. They had lost their firmness. No one could figure out why. The water and salt combination was experimented with. That wasn't the problem. Other things were investigated but nothing could keep the fish from turning to mush.

Finally, someone solved it. These fish had a natural predator. So, the predator fish was put into the tanker truck along with the rest of the fish. Lo and behold, the fish arrived firm and fresh. How did this happen? With the fear the predator brought, the other fish were forced to be more active. With the potential failure resulting from being eaten, the fish swam for their lives. To the relief of the fishing industry, the problem was resolved. Want another example?

Have you heard of Michael Jordan? Arguably, he is the greatest basketball player ever. At the apex of his career, he quit. Yeah, he stopped playing basketball and went to play professional baseball. Now, he was ok at baseball. But he was the greatest at basketball. So why would he quit doing what he knew he could not fail at doing? Because he was bored. There was no challenge left for him in basketball. So he took the lure of fear...of failure...and played baseball. After a year and a half away from basketball, he returned and became the greatest player all over again. He was challenged by the comeback, by the naysayers, by the opponents who wished for his demise. When he knew he couldn't fail, he quit...no longer inspired.

And so, back to answering the original question. What would I do if I knew I could not fail? Nothing. That's right. Nothing. Not a thing. Zip, zilch, nada. I would be bored to death. I would be as uninspired as Jordan was. I love the feeling I get when I think of the fear in doing something. I like knowing that I might fail because it makes me strive all the more. So while the rest of you are effortlessly ending violence or constructing world peace, I'll be searching out something risky. Something that will make you shake your heads and laugh at me. Something that scares me a little. But in those somethings, I will find inspiration, exhilaration. I'll find the zest of life. And if I can't find that, then I'll find a nice body of water to lay beside and enjoy knowing that I won't fail at relaxing and enjoying myself.

I'm A Pecker

Whoa!!! What kind of a title is that?? Well, let me explain. I'm not a pecker in the sense that I am some profane name....ok, maybe some of you think that I am. *wink*. But that's not what I am referring to here. What I mean is that I am a PECK-er. PECK is an acronym that stands for

Positioning
Execution
Courage
Knowledge

Positioning is defined as making something arrive at a certain point. In business, a person attempts to position their product by marketing it to the target audience. If the product is not in the right position then you will not target the right demographic and your venture will fail. Same with people. We position ourselves so that we can be seen by our target audience. Are you looking to marry a Christian man? Then you would want to position yourself in areas that give you the best opportunity for that success. We are constantly positioning ourselves. Make sure that you are putting yourself in the right places so the people and experiences you desire will more readily manifest themselves in your life.

Execution means to perform. To produce. To accomplish. When you have placed yourself in position you must now take action. You must execute your plans to create an accomplishment. To produce a result. Now, to do this you are going to need a plan. So make out your plan and start executing it.

Courage is the ability to face fear and danger. It is also the ability to act rightly in the face of opposition. If you are taking on something new then you probably have some fears about whether it will work out or not. Maybe you are facing opposition from friends and family. It takes courage to stand your ground and push forward. To help you have courage, this next step is essential.

Knowledge is familiarity with someone or something such as facts, skills or information. You may have attained this knowledge through experience or education. When you have a lot of knowledge on a subject, you will be perceived as an expert. Now, you can know how to do something (education). But can you do it (experience)? Both have their importance.

All four of these tie into one another. Having knowledge will give you more courage and will position you better. You cannot execute without knowledge of the plan. If you execute from the wrong position you will get the wrong result. So use these four traits and become a PECK-er.

Commitment and Sacrifice

I am running on fumes this Monday morning. My best friend asked me to accompany her to Oklahoma City for a meeting to help build her business and I said yes. So, I woke up at 4 AM Sunday so I could take care of some things before we left. We didn't get on the road until noon after she picked me up and then picked up the 2 people she signed up under. We stopped a couple of times so it took 6 hours for us to drive from Austin, Texas to Oklahoma City. We got there at 6 PM and the event started at 7. We were back on the road a little after 9 and I arrived home at 4 AM again. Hey, just in time to wake up. So, I have had no sleep.

Why am I sharing this with you? Well, my friend just started this business on Thursday and already she is driving for hours in order to get her business off the ground. That shows a high level of commitment and sacrifice on her part. Now, she is experienced at building businesses like this one and she knows what it takes. But her actions set a great example for all who see. Also, I am telling you this story because of my own actions. You see, I am not a part of this business. But when a friend asks you to come and support something that is important to them, then you step up and support your friend. I'm committed to my friend and to helping her however I can. I committed to those actions when I became a friend just as she committed to her actions when she launched this business venture. Likewise, I sacrificed my day to drive with her and to have her back just as she sacrificed her Sunday away from her family.

So again, what does this have to do with you? Well, I want you to have that same type of commitment and sacrifice. Do you want to be a great parent? Then be committed to that and be willing to sacrifice something to achieve it. Maybe you want to finish school. Or get a promotion. Or stop smoking. Or lose weight. Or be a great friend. Whatever it is, it will take a high level of commitment and sacrifice. So today, stop doing things half-assed. Raise your level of commitment to the things that are important to you and look for ways to sacrifice that which holds you back or stands in your way of achieving your best life.

Your Value to the World

I had the most amazing conversation yesterday. Someone that I am connected with on Facebook contacted me and what I thought was an hour conversation was actually 2 hours. The time just flowed by so easily. The first thing that was said was a compliment on how much she enjoyed my Facebook page. Now this person is very successful. Some people would even consider her to have some celebrity status. So, for that reason I felt a little shocked at first. Someone of her stature? Taking time to compliment me? Spending 2 hours in conversation with ME?

But over those 2 hours, I learned some things. First, behind every "celebrity" is a real person. Someone who likes the same things that everyone else likes. Or dislikes. Food, music, experiences, desires, fears....they are as human as anyone else. It took virtually no time at all for me to feel very comfortable with this person. We spoke about different things, getting to know one another. We seemed to be resonating on the same wavelength. And why shouldn't we?

The second thing I learned was that not all people who have some level of celebrity actually want that kind of attention. They didn't originally set out to be famous. They set out to be the best they could be. The best pianist, the best football player, the best singer. Sometimes, people become celebrities just from doing a simple act. They set out to make a statement or do a good deed. When I was in high school, I was very much into running. At that time, there was a man in Canada who became famous for running. No, he didn't win an Olympic gold medal. This man had gotten cancer and one of his legs had been amputated. He wore a prosthesis. Yet, he decided to run all the way across Canada to raise money and awareness to fight cancer. The man's name was Terry Fox. He even had a movie made about his journey. Point is, all that fame was not what he desired. Making an impact within his world was what he was after.

The third thing I learned is that we all have value. This person yesterday valued me. She didn't see me as a minion or a fan or a lesser person. We were just 2 humans appreciating each other's value. Without her contacting me, though, I never would have known how she felt....how she viewed me. You have value as well, friends. Some days people let you know how wonderful you are and how something you said or did affected them in a positive way. Other days no one communicates with you. However, that doesn't mean your message fell on deaf ears. It doesn't mean that your kind act in the grocery store went unappreciated. It doesn't mean your kind words or sound advice went unheeded. Someone is always watching you, always listening to you, always looking up to you. Believe that!! You are having a profoundly positive effect on someone that you don't even know right now. Just keep putting out the value of who you are. The people who don't deserve your value, won't get it. The people who deserve it but aren't ready to receive it yet, won't get it. But the people who are ready for you, whether they realize they need it or not, are going to be led to you. And if you are withholding your value because you don't believe you have anything to offer the world, then you are cheating someone of something they needed. You are cheating our world out of positive actions that are so desperately needed. And you are cheating yourself out of the beautiful feeling you will have knowing that you are a light to someone in need. Not to mention that you will cheat yourself from being your authentic self. Today, be you. Be valuable!!

Beautiful Lesson

I have spoken of a business event I recently attended. One of the speakers read a story from a book. The book is Illusions: The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah by Richard Bach. I am going to pass along the lesson I took from the story and the speaker. Enjoy.

"Once there lived a village of creatures along the bottom of a great crystal river.The current of the river swept silently over them all-young and old, rich and poor, good and evil, the current going its own way, knowing only its own crystal self. Each creature in its own manner clung tightly to the twigs and rocks of the river bottom, for clinging was their way of life, and resisting the current what each had learned from birth." How many of us are clinging to our current way of life? Resisting things that we have been taught from birth to resist?

"But one creature said at last 'I am tired of clinging. Though I cannot see it with my eyes, I trust that the current knows where it is going. I shall let go and let it take me where it will. Clinging, I shall die of boredom.'  The other creatures laughed and said 'Fool, let go and that current you worship will throw you tumbled and smashed across the rocks and you will die quicker than boredom.'" Isn't that just like friends and family? Whenever you decide to take a risk and step away from the norm to do something different, they berate you.  They laugh and mock you because they don't share your dream. They don't have your vision. They cannot imagine living a life outside the comfort of what they have always known.

"But the one heeded them not, and taking a breath did let go, and at once was tumbled and smashed by the current across the rocks. Yet in time, as the creature refused to cling again, the current lifted him free from the bottom, and he was bruised and hurt no more." You see, when you release the burdens, when you release the baggage that you are clinging to, when you stop resisting new ways of living your life, you feel as though a load has been taken from your shoulders. A weight has been removed and you feel lighter. You have been lifted up and you are bruised and hurt no more.

The Badass Within

This past weekend I attended a business event here in Austin. The company that hosted the event is an international company. There were people from various countries who traveled in to attend. So many wonderful and positive things happened for me at this event but it was the title of the event that resonated within me. The event was called "Release Your Inner Badass".

Now some people will see that and just think it is some catchy and edgy title and nothing more. But to me it has a deeper meaning. To be able to release something means that you must be possessing it in the first place. And an inner badass? This implies that I am already a badass but that it is residing inside of me, where no one else can see it.

What does it mean to be badass? What is a badass? To me, a badass is someone who owns up to who they are. They are not inhibited or affected by what others may think of them. A badass is secure and confident while at the same time being the best at what they do. And If they aren't the best, they accept that and work their butts off to be better than what they are. A badass speaks honestly. You aren't going to get much fluff or hype from them. They get to the point when they speak.

A badass person doesn't advertise their status. They don't have to, nor want to. Because they have released their inner badass, it is now an outer badass. It isn't hidden. Others can see it, therefore there isn't the need for bluster and bravado. Have you ever seen a Clint Eastwood movie where the character bragged about how badass he was? I never have. The character exuded supreme confidence. And this is what you need to release from inside of yourself. That badass, supremely confident person that is hiding deep within you.

Release it. Throw off the chains of what others may think. Remove the leash that you are choking your true self with. Leashes are for dogs. And you, my friend, are no dog. You are a BADASS!! Now let the world see it.

Taking Tests

When I was in school, I was a lazy student. I really didn't study much. I mostly did my homework 5-10 minutes before it was due and accepted whatever grade I got. Of course, my homework grades tended to be not very good. How did I pass then? I was a great test taker. Usually, I would do a little cramming the morning of the test and then that was it. I would just relax my mind and take the test. I always did real well on tests. Even in college, I would see my fellow students cramming all the way up until the final minute...attempting to stuff as much information into their memory as possible. But me, I would just sit calmly waiting for the test to begin. I was almost always the first to finish the test also. People looked at me in amazement. Homework and studying? Nah, I got this test taking bit down pat.

But in the other parts of my life, I was basically a failure at taking tests. You see, one of the metaphors that the Bible says about life is that it is a test. God continually tests our character, our faith, our loyalty, our love, our integrity. All of life is a test. We are constantly being tested. God is constantly watching how you respond to people, success, problems, disappointment, illness, conflict, even the weather.

In school, I was tested on my knowledge of a particular subject. Theoretically, if I passed the test I would move on to the next chapter. If I failed, I was showing that I had not learned the lessons that I was being tested on. Same thing in life. But something went wrong between school and life. I went from being a great test taker in school to being a horrible test taker in life. I failed tests over and over again. God would give me a make-up exam and I would fail again. Sometimes I might pass a small test only to fail the same test a week later. It took me a long time to figure out that I wasn't advancing. Physically, I was an adult. Spiritually, I should have been much further ahead than what I was. Instead, I was like a floundering fifth grader struggling to learn the multiplication table.

Finally, I reasoned that this wasn't working the way I wanted. I started to look back at my past tests and failures. I started to learn where I had gone wrong. Hmmmm, the same red X's were showing up in my life. I was getting certain lessons wrong over and over. This is what started my quest for personal improvement. This learning, this development has been a long process. Similar to getting any education, the learning takes years of dedicated effort. And my reward? More lessons. More tests. Passing one level of tests only qualifies you for the next level. I don't know if Life University offers any degrees but I do know they conduct a lot of testing. And every time you fail a test you are guaranteed to repeat it. Even if you pass it, you can expect a pop quiz over it somewhere down the road...just to insure you haven't forgotten.

So go back and review the tests in your own life. See where you have failed and if they are the same things or not. Study on how to improve those areas and put in the time and effort to ace that test. It's up to you, though. You can keep failing the same tests and, therefore, keep getting the same results in your life to test you. Or, you can be like James in the Bible. James 1:2-4 "Consider it all joy when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing." I'm working on being perfect and complete. How about you?

Don't Quit

Yesterday, I was watching the NFL playoffs. For those of you outside the USA, this is American football. The two teams playing were Atlanta and Seattle. At first, it appeared that the game would be rather boring. Atlanta had a very big lead early in the game and it looked as if Seattle would not be able to come back from such a big deficit.

But Seattle did come back. And with only 31 seconds left in the game, Seattle scored to take the lead. They had not quit on themselves. They had not given up the belief that they come overcome the early deficit and still win the game. And there they were, 31 seconds away from victory. They were playing the game at Atlanta's stadium and their fans were heartbroken, knowing that it would be nearly impossible for their team to score again with such precious little time remaining.

But Atlanta didn't quit, either. They quickly moved the ball down the field until they were close enough to score with 13 seconds left. Their kicker scored the points that gave them the lead again. Even so, Seattle came close to taking back the lead on the final play of the game. It was thrilling to watch. Neither team ever quitting on themselves or on their teammates. Both teams could have quit. Seattle could have quit when they were so far behind. But they didn't. Atlanta could have quit when they lost the lead with only 31 seconds left to play. But they didn't.

And there's a lesson in this for all of us to learn. No matter how much life has you down, don't quit. No matter how far behind you are on reaching your goals and achieving your dreams, don't quit. Likewise, no matter how good things are going for you, don't give up....don't quit putting out the effort that allowed you to have it so good in the first place. Don't quit on your dreams. Don't quit on your goals. Don't quit on your relationships. Don't quit on yourself. Just......don't quit.

I Like Being Recognized

I like to be recognized for when I do something good. How about you? If you are like most people, and I think you are, then you love to be recognized for your efforts. Last night, I went to a meeting at church and was pleasantly surprised to be named Volunteer of the Month for December. What a nice honor. I received a certificate and had all my peers congratulating me. I was proud. Some of you may say, what's the big deal?

Well, recognition is a prize that a person gets for positive behavior. If you reward that positive behavior, you will get more positive behavior. Then, you give more reward and get more positive behavior and so on. The recognition becomes a motivator. It lets people know that their performance was valued. It builds confidence for future behavior and performance. And it makes people happy. And happier people are positive people.

You don't need to be a supervisor or a manager to recognize good performance. How many of you are parents? How about recognizing your child for their positive behaviors? Do that consistently and see what happens to your child. Is the clerk at the convenience store especially nice? Then tell them so. Thank them for being very friendly and helpful and let them know how happy you are to see them when you come into the store. Begin consistently recognizing the positives that your spouse does. You can do this with anyone. Your child's teacher, a receptionist, a barista, a restaurant server....the list is endless.

When I was a restaurant manager, there was a couple who were regulars. They always made it a point to stick their head in the window to the kitchen and told the cooks what a great job they were doing. On some occasions, they even tipped the cooks. The cooks worked amazingly better after one of those episodes. They felt more pride in what they were doing. They were motivated to put their best effort into their work. They were happier. And that is what a little recognition can do.

If you want better results from people, you are going to have to recognize the good they are already doing. Sometimes it is hard to find the good that someone is doing. But if you don't recognize and reward that small positive behavior then you are unlikely to get anything more from them. I had a guy who worked for me when I was a Marine in California. No one else wanted anything to do with him. But I never had a problem with him. Everyone else wanted to yell at him and belittle him for being a screwup. I never did that with him. I yelled at others because that's what they needed to perform better. But not this guy. He made me look like a genius or some kind of great leader. I wasn't either one. I was just someone who saw the positives this guy was doing and recognized him for it.

And that's what I want you to do. I want you to recognize people in your life who are doing something positive so you can get more of that behavior. Or maybe you want them to perform better than they are. Either way, the key lies in rewarding the positive performance they are giving now. It may be a small gift or just a sincere thank you. Whatever it is, make sure you reference the behaviors that you want more of. I can assure you through my experience, you will love the results you elicit from others. Have a great day!!

Feeling Guilty?

Do you feel guilty? Have you done something in your life that you wish you could take back? Sure you have. We all have. And, chances are, we have all felt some guilt for some of those things we did or said. But, I'm going to ask you to do something.......let the guilt go. Just let it go. Release it.

Guilt is a very destructive emotion. It keeps us in bondage, chained to the events of our past. I have one such event from my life that I have held onto for many years. I did something that created a huge negative response and I have always felt guilty for it. Many times throughout the years, I have told myself to get over it. But I have purposely held onto my guilty feelings. And I did so because I never wanted to forget what I had done so that I would know to never repeat it again.

But now, I'm going to release it. Not because I want to do wrong again but because I'm done with the horrible feelings that I place upon myself. You see, the guilt is good to have at first. It allows us to be convicted of our actions and to repent from continuing to do the same things. But if you stay in guilt, then you are destroying yourself. You are punishing yourself long after the consequences have worn off. You are keeping yourself in a prison long after you have learned the lessons from your acts.

I know some of you have similar experiences in your own life. Today, free yourself emotionally. You will not be condoning those events. You will not be allowing yourself to commit other acts for which you would feel guilt. Instead, you will be accepting the consequences that were already placed upon you. You will be accepting the lessons that you learned from the experience. And you will removing a great weight from your heart in the process. Freeing yourself emotionally will renew yourself energetically. Do it today!!

My New Year's

I have to say that my New Year's Eve really sucked. I had to deal with some personal issues that day and it pretty much took the afternoon and into the evening. I wasn't going out anyway, but so much for just relaxing. Looking back on it now I guess I should be happy that the crappy day was still in 2012 and not the first day of 2013.

And that leads me to New Year's Day. I was walking through a store in the late morning when a man stepped in front of me and blocked the aisle. It made me angry because he had looked up and saw me coming and so it appeared as if he was blocking me on purpose. I looked at him and he was smiling at me. I'm thinking, what in the world is his problem. I chalked it up to "Austin people" and slipped past him.

Not long after that, I went to eat lunch. I was sitting by myself and this lady, who was at least 80 years old, came up to me and said Happy New Year. I smiled and wished her the same. But then she looked real hard at me and said, God Bless You and then turned and walked out of the restaurant. In that moment, I had to fight the urge to cry. How did she know I needed an encouraging word?

A little later in the afternoon, I saw a man that I probably see almost everyday. We have never spoken before. But today, he walks up to me and just starts a random conversation and we ended talking for about 20 minutes. It wasn't until last night, when I was winding down and thinking upon the days events that it all started to come together for me.

The smiling man, the older lady, the man I see everyday.....they had engaged me with a smile, a good word, a gentle conversation. But how did they know I needed that? I didn't even know I needed it. I must have been carrying around with me the concerns of the day before. Maybe they could sense it. Or maybe.....maybe God tapped them on the shoulder and whispered in their ear. In that moment, they acted on an inner urge to do something good to someone. And not just anyone, but ME!!! All three. In the same day.

To the three people who helped pick me up throughout the day yesterday, I say thank you. To the God who inspired them to do so, I say thank you. I have a couple of prayers regarding this. One, may these three people continue to shine the light of God through their words and actions. Two, may the rest of us learn to do the same. Have a wonderful 2013.

Alpha and Omega

In the Bible, God says that He is the Alpha and the Omega. This means that he is the beginning and the end. But what about everything in between? Who creates our experiences? Who creates our situations in life? Well that, my friends, is us. We didn't create the world and we won't be the ones to end the world. But we are the ones who create everything else. And we do this by using our God-given talents and gifts.

I remember when I was a little kid in school and the teacher would pass out a blank sheet of paper to every kid. Then, she would give us each 3-4 crayons and tell us to create a masterpiece. It always seemed that I would look at the colors given to me and wonder how I was going to create anything. "If only"....I had that color the kid next to me had. THEN I could create something wonderful. But with these colors.....sheesh, impossible.

And aren't we still like that as adults? We rarely are happy with the gifts and talents we have been given. We look at others and think they have better than we have. "If only"...I had the personality that person has. "If only"...I had the looks of that person. "If only"...I could speak as well as they do. "If only".....blah, blah, blah. And the ridiculous thing is, other people are looking at us wishing they had what we have.

Guess what? You got what you got. You can't go to WalMart and buy a new talent. You can only use what you have. You can strengthen it and make it better or you can neglect it. But if you choose to neglect your talents, then your life will never be as great as it could have been. You will never be as fulfilled as you would have. The world will not be as improved as it should have been.

So, start using what the Good Lord gave you. You were given those talents and gifts for a reason.....to use them. To create a masterpiece with them.

Death- The Final Fight

Over the last couple of weeks, I have been watching a Facebook friend deal with her emotions as she watches her father slowly step closer to death. She posts updates and pictures of him almost everyday. This seems to be the time of year when so many older folks pass on. I'm really not sure why. My own ex mother in law passed away on December 10th, the same day my mom passed on many years ago. Other friends have also had loved ones succumb to death in December. As for my friend, I have come to look forward to her posts about father.

I'm writing about this because my friend has been so open in sharing her struggle as well as the struggles of her father. And reading about it has caused me to think about how we die. You can tell by the pictures she posts that her dad is close to passing, but another day goes by and he is still here. You can see the strain on her as she almost wishes he would go....that it would be a relief to the both of them. I know it would be for her. But for him, I wonder if he is content with waiting for death to overtake him. Or is he fighting death to the final, inevitable outcome....making death earn its victory? That's how I would like to imagine it. I'm not sure why, but everyday when I see him still alive I feel happy. I'm happy in knowing that he defeated death for another day. It reminds me of the movie, The Outlaw Josey Wales, when the boy says "We whooped 'em again, didn't we Josey?" I know we cannot defeat death forever. And there comes a time when it is ok to just let go and pass on. But I just have mad respect for the people who fight it and defeat it. It's like being down 40-0 in a football game. You keep playing hard and fighting....making the other team earn their inevitable victory.

Sadly, though, her father finally passed. So to my friend, my heart goes out to you. So many of us know the struggles you are enduring right now. And to your dad.....what a noble fight you put on, Warrior. You definitely made death earn it.

New Year's Resolution? Or Something Better?

Every year, the same old thing. You come up with some New Year's resolutions. Things that you want to do in your life. Things you NEED to do in your life. This is going to be the year they get done. This year you are going to stay with it and not quit. This year you're going to persevere through the setbacks. This year you will accomplish everything. Yeah. Right. The reality is that this year people will come up with the same resolutions they probably had last year and the year before that. Why? Because they never accomplish those things the first time around. Has anyone figured out that New Year's resolutions really are difficult to succeed at? This is why I am proposing something different for 2013.

This year, instead of coming up with a resolution for the whole year, come up with New Day's resolutions!! When you make a resolution you are resolving to accomplish something. Maybe you want to lose weight. Or start an exercise program. Or stop smoking. Whatever it is, I want you to resolve to accomplish it for just one day. That's it. One day. Then resolve to accomplish it the next day and then the next day after that. That's all you need to do to achieve the results you desire anyway.

Most people make a resolution for the year and when they slip for a day or two or three, they deem themselves a failure and quit altogether. But if you make a resolution every day, then if you miss a day...or slip up, then it isn't as big a deal. You just make the resolution again the next day and work to accomplish it. Just one day. Add all those days together and think of how many pounds you will have lost. Think of all the days you will have exercised. Think of all the days you didn't smoke. Think of all the negative habits that have now been replaced with newer, more positive habits. And isn't that the goal of making resolutions in the first place? My wish for you is that you accomplish and achieve all that you want in 2013.....one day at a time.

Anger- Elixir of The Gods

Do you ever get angry? Of course you do. I hope you are not one of those people that say you never get angry or that you are somehow adept at avoiding anger. Simply put, you are just lying to yourself. So many of us are scared to admit that we get angry over certain things. Our society thinks that anger is a negative thing to be avoided at all costs. This thinking is wrong!!

You see, people are doing something that angers us everyday. They cut us off in traffic, they yell at us at our jobs, horrible and senseless events happen in the world.......Plenty of things making us angry. It is not the anger that is the bad guy here. It is our response to the anger. If we choose to respond with a tantrum, then we achieved nothing. If we bottle it up inside of us until the anger goes away, we have wasted a golden opportunity. Anger is nothing but pure energy. Watch an angry person. They have so much energy flowing through them they can't even contain. Their voice gets louder and they talk faster. Their movements become more jerky and animated. Why? Because they have all this new energy and don't know how to harness it.

This energy can, and should, be used for positive actions. If you're an older adult and decide to go back to college and your friends and family make fun of that decision, you are going to feel angry that they are not supporting your efforts and dreams. Great!! Get angry and then use the energy that the anger has given you to study harder, longer and more effectively. Trying to lose weight? People making fun of you and pointing out how you have already been on 20 diets already? Great!! Get angry and use that energy to become more resolute, more diligent, more disciplined.

Professional athletes know the benefits of anger. If you have ever been in a football teams locker room before a game, you have seen some bizarre rituals. You'll see men stomping back and forth yelling at themselves. Two men will start punching each other. They'll put their helmets on and head butt one another. They'll yell and scream and stir themselves into a frenzy of bloodlust. Why? Because they know that anger gives them extra energy. They know that they need any and every edge they can get over their competition. They don't really hate the other team. They aren't really angry with the other team. But they created anger. They manufactured anger so that they could harness its energy.

For you peaceniks out there, Mother Theresa got angry. She used that anger to impact the lives of many of the poorest people on our planet. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr got angry. He used that anger to achieve the basic freedoms for all people, most notably those of his same skin color. Gandhi got angry. He used that anger to drive out an oppressive government from his homeland. Jesus got angry. He used that anger to drive out the money-changers from His temple. All these people were nonviolent, but they were not non-angry. They accepted their anger and then they used their anger for a positive result.

So don't be afraid of your anger. Don't repress it, suppress or deny it. Accept it for the tool that it is. A treasure chest of energy to be used for positive actions. And if you aren't angry or energetic about anything, then you can always follow the examples of successful pro athletes and manufacture some anger.

Productivity vs Activity

Let me tell you a story about myself. When I was a restaurant manager, I had a server who worked my last nerve. This guy was a pretty good server. If anything, he could be too good...sometimes becoming more of an interruption to his customers than necessary. But that aside, he was good. Except, that servers in restaurants have a little thing called sidework. For those of you who have worked as a server, you probably just cringed at the word....sidework. Sidework is that work a server must do on top of waiting their tables. It usually entails rolling silverware into napkins and cleaning certain areas of the restaurant. Well, this guy was a master at putting it off.

When confronted with why his sidework wasn't getting done, Sam (not his real name) would tell of how busy he was and to not worry, that it would all get done. Yet, at the end of his shift, he wouldn't even be close to finishing. I started watching him shift after shift, and I began to notice that he flew around the restaurant like a mini-tornado. At first glance, it would seem as though he were truly busy. But he was not actually doing anything. He was only moving quickly from one spot to another. Like a fly buzzing around, searching for that oh-so-perfect pile of poop to land on. Anyone who has worked for me or knows me, knows that his actions didn't sit very well with me. Let's just say we had a mutual dislike for one another......I didn't like how he tried to get out of doing his job and he didn't like how I held him to standards of his job.

How many of us, though, act like Sam? We buzz around like busy little bees but at the end of the day have nothing, or very little, to show for it. I mean if these people really were bees they would be fired from the colony for producing no honey. In our world, no honey = no money. You see, production is where it's at. Produce the result you are being paid to produce and all is well. Don't produce and you can't act surprised at the consequences. Your actions really are NOT good enough. Simply showing up to work isn't enough, either. You are not being paid to show up. Shoot, a dog can be trained to be a certain place at a certain time. Even a cat knows what time is feeding time and where the food bowl is. But you are to do more. You are to produce measurable results. Whether you work for someone else or for yourself, the future probability of you continuing to get paid rests solely on production of results and not actions or good intentions.

So, cut out the busy bee, do-nothing actions of your day and ramp up the results producing actions that will  simplify or de-stress your life. Cut out the time wasting activities of your work and replace them with actions that create tangible, measurable, positive results and watch your business stature and success grow.

How To Pray For What You Want

So, yesterday I talked about how you should be careful about what you pray for. People tend to get mired in their everyday problems and become overwhelmed and frustrated. They then cry out for help in the form of a prayer and are dismayed when they don't get what they want but DO get what they prayed for. What happened? Well, they asked/prayed for the wrong thing. They were not clear on how to ask, specifically, for what they truly desired.

In our worldly, human relationships we are often unclear when we ask for something. We hint at what we desire and hope that our partner somehow "gets" it or "reads" our minds. But God doesn't operate that way. Even if you do not believe in God  but instead believe in a Universal Power, the lesson is the same. You get exactly what you are asking for. And to properly ask for something requires you to have the belief that you will receive it. Therefore, you might ask for a brand new bicycle but if you believe you will not get it, then you  are more likely to not get it.

Your belief must align with your prayer/asking. When those are in conflict, which will you receive? Will you get what you truly desire? Or will you get what it is you specifically asked for? Well, it usually depends on where the majority of your focus is. When people ask for strength, they are usually focused on exactly that.....being stronger so as to overcome their problems. So, they get experiences that will strengthen them. If their focus was on having fewer problems or on having their load lightened, they would be more likely to receive that.

So get specific with what it is you want. Ask and pray in a direct, honest language that is very clear on what you desire. Then, believe that you will receive it.

Be Careful What You Pray For

So often I hear people praying who are struggling with something. Sometimes, they are having relationship problems. Or financial troubles. Issues with their children. Their health. So many different things that we all endure from time to time. One of the most popular prayers I hear is, "Lord, give me strength." Usually, what they are saying is that they feel their problems are so overwhelming that they cannot handle it and need an extra push to get them over.

However, that is not what they asked for and not how strength is achieved. Anyone who has ever lifted weights will tell you that the way to increase strength is to increase resistance. That's right. You pray for strength, you are praying for MORE resistance in your life....not less. You are asking for an increase in problems. You are asking for more weight to be placed across your shoulders. You are asking for more resistance so that you will develop the strength you prayed for. Be careful what you pray for.

Another prayer I hear people praying is "Lord, give me patience." These people feel so stressed about life that they think they might snap at any moment. That they might have a nervous breakdown. They don't realize they already have patience within them. So, by asking for patience, they are actually asking for more than they already possess. This leads us to the same scenario as with strength. These people will now be given more situations that will require a higher degree of patience from them. They will be given more troubles and more stress and less time with which to get everything done that needs to be accomplished. They will be given this so that they can develop the very thing they prayed for......patience. Be careful what you pray for.

Yes, I say to be careful what you pray for because......you might just get it!!!

Credibility

What do you think of when you hear the word, credibility? The book definition is "the quality of being trusted." Trust and credibility are both traits that you cannot give yourself. Only others can give it to you. Now, the question....how do we inspire people to trust us, to gives us credibility?

Well, showing someone you truly care about them and have their best interests at heart is the first step. Once people begin to learn about you, they will want to know some things about your past....your "story". Many of us have been through tough times. Relating this to people shows that you, too, have struggled and know the feelings of how hard life can be. You build your credibility to lead people by the storms you have endured.

Have you ever seen those TV preachers? they always act as though they have been walking on water since the age of 5. Who can relate to that? How does this build their credibility? Do we even believe this person? Hard for me to. I can definitely respect the people who say, and show, that they have endured struggles. That they have walked through the fire and come out the other side a better person for the experience. That person has built their credibility with me.

So, do you want to have credibility in peoples eyes? Do you want the "quality of being trusted"? If you do, then show people how much you care for them. Be honest in who and what you are. And be transparent about your struggles, either from the past or in the present. You will then inspire trust and earn your credibility.