Whoa!!! What kind of a title is that?? Well, let me explain. I'm not a pecker in the sense that I am some profane name....ok, maybe some of you think that I am. *wink*. But that's not what I am referring to here. What I mean is that I am a PECK-er. PECK is an acronym that stands for
Positioning
Execution
Courage
Knowledge
Positioning is defined as making something arrive at a certain point. In business, a person attempts to position their product by marketing it to the target audience. If the product is not in the right position then you will not target the right demographic and your venture will fail. Same with people. We position ourselves so that we can be seen by our target audience. Are you looking to marry a Christian man? Then you would want to position yourself in areas that give you the best opportunity for that success. We are constantly positioning ourselves. Make sure that you are putting yourself in the right places so the people and experiences you desire will more readily manifest themselves in your life.
Execution means to perform. To produce. To accomplish. When you have placed yourself in position you must now take action. You must execute your plans to create an accomplishment. To produce a result. Now, to do this you are going to need a plan. So make out your plan and start executing it.
Courage is the ability to face fear and danger. It is also the ability to act rightly in the face of opposition. If you are taking on something new then you probably have some fears about whether it will work out or not. Maybe you are facing opposition from friends and family. It takes courage to stand your ground and push forward. To help you have courage, this next step is essential.
Knowledge is familiarity with someone or something such as facts, skills or information. You may have attained this knowledge through experience or education. When you have a lot of knowledge on a subject, you will be perceived as an expert. Now, you can know how to do something (education). But can you do it (experience)? Both have their importance.
All four of these tie into one another. Having knowledge will give you more courage and will position you better. You cannot execute without knowledge of the plan. If you execute from the wrong position you will get the wrong result. So use these four traits and become a PECK-er.
Me
Looking Business-like
Wednesday, January 30, 2013
Monday, January 28, 2013
Commitment and Sacrifice
I am running on fumes this Monday morning. My best friend asked me to accompany her to Oklahoma City for a meeting to help build her business and I said yes. So, I woke up at 4 AM Sunday so I could take care of some things before we left. We didn't get on the road until noon after she picked me up and then picked up the 2 people she signed up under. We stopped a couple of times so it took 6 hours for us to drive from Austin, Texas to Oklahoma City. We got there at 6 PM and the event started at 7. We were back on the road a little after 9 and I arrived home at 4 AM again. Hey, just in time to wake up. So, I have had no sleep.
Why am I sharing this with you? Well, my friend just started this business on Thursday and already she is driving for hours in order to get her business off the ground. That shows a high level of commitment and sacrifice on her part. Now, she is experienced at building businesses like this one and she knows what it takes. But her actions set a great example for all who see. Also, I am telling you this story because of my own actions. You see, I am not a part of this business. But when a friend asks you to come and support something that is important to them, then you step up and support your friend. I'm committed to my friend and to helping her however I can. I committed to those actions when I became a friend just as she committed to her actions when she launched this business venture. Likewise, I sacrificed my day to drive with her and to have her back just as she sacrificed her Sunday away from her family.
So again, what does this have to do with you? Well, I want you to have that same type of commitment and sacrifice. Do you want to be a great parent? Then be committed to that and be willing to sacrifice something to achieve it. Maybe you want to finish school. Or get a promotion. Or stop smoking. Or lose weight. Or be a great friend. Whatever it is, it will take a high level of commitment and sacrifice. So today, stop doing things half-assed. Raise your level of commitment to the things that are important to you and look for ways to sacrifice that which holds you back or stands in your way of achieving your best life.
Why am I sharing this with you? Well, my friend just started this business on Thursday and already she is driving for hours in order to get her business off the ground. That shows a high level of commitment and sacrifice on her part. Now, she is experienced at building businesses like this one and she knows what it takes. But her actions set a great example for all who see. Also, I am telling you this story because of my own actions. You see, I am not a part of this business. But when a friend asks you to come and support something that is important to them, then you step up and support your friend. I'm committed to my friend and to helping her however I can. I committed to those actions when I became a friend just as she committed to her actions when she launched this business venture. Likewise, I sacrificed my day to drive with her and to have her back just as she sacrificed her Sunday away from her family.
So again, what does this have to do with you? Well, I want you to have that same type of commitment and sacrifice. Do you want to be a great parent? Then be committed to that and be willing to sacrifice something to achieve it. Maybe you want to finish school. Or get a promotion. Or stop smoking. Or lose weight. Or be a great friend. Whatever it is, it will take a high level of commitment and sacrifice. So today, stop doing things half-assed. Raise your level of commitment to the things that are important to you and look for ways to sacrifice that which holds you back or stands in your way of achieving your best life.
Saturday, January 26, 2013
Your Value to the World
I had the most amazing conversation yesterday. Someone that I am connected with on Facebook contacted me and what I thought was an hour conversation was actually 2 hours. The time just flowed by so easily. The first thing that was said was a compliment on how much she enjoyed my Facebook page. Now this person is very successful. Some people would even consider her to have some celebrity status. So, for that reason I felt a little shocked at first. Someone of her stature? Taking time to compliment me? Spending 2 hours in conversation with ME?
But over those 2 hours, I learned some things. First, behind every "celebrity" is a real person. Someone who likes the same things that everyone else likes. Or dislikes. Food, music, experiences, desires, fears....they are as human as anyone else. It took virtually no time at all for me to feel very comfortable with this person. We spoke about different things, getting to know one another. We seemed to be resonating on the same wavelength. And why shouldn't we?
The second thing I learned was that not all people who have some level of celebrity actually want that kind of attention. They didn't originally set out to be famous. They set out to be the best they could be. The best pianist, the best football player, the best singer. Sometimes, people become celebrities just from doing a simple act. They set out to make a statement or do a good deed. When I was in high school, I was very much into running. At that time, there was a man in Canada who became famous for running. No, he didn't win an Olympic gold medal. This man had gotten cancer and one of his legs had been amputated. He wore a prosthesis. Yet, he decided to run all the way across Canada to raise money and awareness to fight cancer. The man's name was Terry Fox. He even had a movie made about his journey. Point is, all that fame was not what he desired. Making an impact within his world was what he was after.
The third thing I learned is that we all have value. This person yesterday valued me. She didn't see me as a minion or a fan or a lesser person. We were just 2 humans appreciating each other's value. Without her contacting me, though, I never would have known how she felt....how she viewed me. You have value as well, friends. Some days people let you know how wonderful you are and how something you said or did affected them in a positive way. Other days no one communicates with you. However, that doesn't mean your message fell on deaf ears. It doesn't mean that your kind act in the grocery store went unappreciated. It doesn't mean your kind words or sound advice went unheeded. Someone is always watching you, always listening to you, always looking up to you. Believe that!! You are having a profoundly positive effect on someone that you don't even know right now. Just keep putting out the value of who you are. The people who don't deserve your value, won't get it. The people who deserve it but aren't ready to receive it yet, won't get it. But the people who are ready for you, whether they realize they need it or not, are going to be led to you. And if you are withholding your value because you don't believe you have anything to offer the world, then you are cheating someone of something they needed. You are cheating our world out of positive actions that are so desperately needed. And you are cheating yourself out of the beautiful feeling you will have knowing that you are a light to someone in need. Not to mention that you will cheat yourself from being your authentic self. Today, be you. Be valuable!!
But over those 2 hours, I learned some things. First, behind every "celebrity" is a real person. Someone who likes the same things that everyone else likes. Or dislikes. Food, music, experiences, desires, fears....they are as human as anyone else. It took virtually no time at all for me to feel very comfortable with this person. We spoke about different things, getting to know one another. We seemed to be resonating on the same wavelength. And why shouldn't we?
The second thing I learned was that not all people who have some level of celebrity actually want that kind of attention. They didn't originally set out to be famous. They set out to be the best they could be. The best pianist, the best football player, the best singer. Sometimes, people become celebrities just from doing a simple act. They set out to make a statement or do a good deed. When I was in high school, I was very much into running. At that time, there was a man in Canada who became famous for running. No, he didn't win an Olympic gold medal. This man had gotten cancer and one of his legs had been amputated. He wore a prosthesis. Yet, he decided to run all the way across Canada to raise money and awareness to fight cancer. The man's name was Terry Fox. He even had a movie made about his journey. Point is, all that fame was not what he desired. Making an impact within his world was what he was after.
The third thing I learned is that we all have value. This person yesterday valued me. She didn't see me as a minion or a fan or a lesser person. We were just 2 humans appreciating each other's value. Without her contacting me, though, I never would have known how she felt....how she viewed me. You have value as well, friends. Some days people let you know how wonderful you are and how something you said or did affected them in a positive way. Other days no one communicates with you. However, that doesn't mean your message fell on deaf ears. It doesn't mean that your kind act in the grocery store went unappreciated. It doesn't mean your kind words or sound advice went unheeded. Someone is always watching you, always listening to you, always looking up to you. Believe that!! You are having a profoundly positive effect on someone that you don't even know right now. Just keep putting out the value of who you are. The people who don't deserve your value, won't get it. The people who deserve it but aren't ready to receive it yet, won't get it. But the people who are ready for you, whether they realize they need it or not, are going to be led to you. And if you are withholding your value because you don't believe you have anything to offer the world, then you are cheating someone of something they needed. You are cheating our world out of positive actions that are so desperately needed. And you are cheating yourself out of the beautiful feeling you will have knowing that you are a light to someone in need. Not to mention that you will cheat yourself from being your authentic self. Today, be you. Be valuable!!
Wednesday, January 23, 2013
Beautiful Lesson
I have spoken of a business event I recently attended. One of the speakers read a story from a book. The book is Illusions: The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah by Richard Bach. I am going to pass along the lesson I took from the story and the speaker. Enjoy.
"Once there lived a village of creatures along the bottom of a great crystal river.The current of the river swept silently over them all-young and old, rich and poor, good and evil, the current going its own way, knowing only its own crystal self. Each creature in its own manner clung tightly to the twigs and rocks of the river bottom, for clinging was their way of life, and resisting the current what each had learned from birth." How many of us are clinging to our current way of life? Resisting things that we have been taught from birth to resist?
"But one creature said at last 'I am tired of clinging. Though I cannot see it with my eyes, I trust that the current knows where it is going. I shall let go and let it take me where it will. Clinging, I shall die of boredom.' The other creatures laughed and said 'Fool, let go and that current you worship will throw you tumbled and smashed across the rocks and you will die quicker than boredom.'" Isn't that just like friends and family? Whenever you decide to take a risk and step away from the norm to do something different, they berate you. They laugh and mock you because they don't share your dream. They don't have your vision. They cannot imagine living a life outside the comfort of what they have always known.
"But the one heeded them not, and taking a breath did let go, and at once was tumbled and smashed by the current across the rocks. Yet in time, as the creature refused to cling again, the current lifted him free from the bottom, and he was bruised and hurt no more." You see, when you release the burdens, when you release the baggage that you are clinging to, when you stop resisting new ways of living your life, you feel as though a load has been taken from your shoulders. A weight has been removed and you feel lighter. You have been lifted up and you are bruised and hurt no more.
"Once there lived a village of creatures along the bottom of a great crystal river.The current of the river swept silently over them all-young and old, rich and poor, good and evil, the current going its own way, knowing only its own crystal self. Each creature in its own manner clung tightly to the twigs and rocks of the river bottom, for clinging was their way of life, and resisting the current what each had learned from birth." How many of us are clinging to our current way of life? Resisting things that we have been taught from birth to resist?
"But one creature said at last 'I am tired of clinging. Though I cannot see it with my eyes, I trust that the current knows where it is going. I shall let go and let it take me where it will. Clinging, I shall die of boredom.' The other creatures laughed and said 'Fool, let go and that current you worship will throw you tumbled and smashed across the rocks and you will die quicker than boredom.'" Isn't that just like friends and family? Whenever you decide to take a risk and step away from the norm to do something different, they berate you. They laugh and mock you because they don't share your dream. They don't have your vision. They cannot imagine living a life outside the comfort of what they have always known.
"But the one heeded them not, and taking a breath did let go, and at once was tumbled and smashed by the current across the rocks. Yet in time, as the creature refused to cling again, the current lifted him free from the bottom, and he was bruised and hurt no more." You see, when you release the burdens, when you release the baggage that you are clinging to, when you stop resisting new ways of living your life, you feel as though a load has been taken from your shoulders. A weight has been removed and you feel lighter. You have been lifted up and you are bruised and hurt no more.
Monday, January 21, 2013
The Badass Within
This past weekend I attended a business event here in Austin. The company that hosted the event is an international company. There were people from various countries who traveled in to attend. So many wonderful and positive things happened for me at this event but it was the title of the event that resonated within me. The event was called "Release Your Inner Badass".
Now some people will see that and just think it is some catchy and edgy title and nothing more. But to me it has a deeper meaning. To be able to release something means that you must be possessing it in the first place. And an inner badass? This implies that I am already a badass but that it is residing inside of me, where no one else can see it.
What does it mean to be badass? What is a badass? To me, a badass is someone who owns up to who they are. They are not inhibited or affected by what others may think of them. A badass is secure and confident while at the same time being the best at what they do. And If they aren't the best, they accept that and work their butts off to be better than what they are. A badass speaks honestly. You aren't going to get much fluff or hype from them. They get to the point when they speak.
A badass person doesn't advertise their status. They don't have to, nor want to. Because they have released their inner badass, it is now an outer badass. It isn't hidden. Others can see it, therefore there isn't the need for bluster and bravado. Have you ever seen a Clint Eastwood movie where the character bragged about how badass he was? I never have. The character exuded supreme confidence. And this is what you need to release from inside of yourself. That badass, supremely confident person that is hiding deep within you.
Release it. Throw off the chains of what others may think. Remove the leash that you are choking your true self with. Leashes are for dogs. And you, my friend, are no dog. You are a BADASS!! Now let the world see it.
Now some people will see that and just think it is some catchy and edgy title and nothing more. But to me it has a deeper meaning. To be able to release something means that you must be possessing it in the first place. And an inner badass? This implies that I am already a badass but that it is residing inside of me, where no one else can see it.
What does it mean to be badass? What is a badass? To me, a badass is someone who owns up to who they are. They are not inhibited or affected by what others may think of them. A badass is secure and confident while at the same time being the best at what they do. And If they aren't the best, they accept that and work their butts off to be better than what they are. A badass speaks honestly. You aren't going to get much fluff or hype from them. They get to the point when they speak.
A badass person doesn't advertise their status. They don't have to, nor want to. Because they have released their inner badass, it is now an outer badass. It isn't hidden. Others can see it, therefore there isn't the need for bluster and bravado. Have you ever seen a Clint Eastwood movie where the character bragged about how badass he was? I never have. The character exuded supreme confidence. And this is what you need to release from inside of yourself. That badass, supremely confident person that is hiding deep within you.
Release it. Throw off the chains of what others may think. Remove the leash that you are choking your true self with. Leashes are for dogs. And you, my friend, are no dog. You are a BADASS!! Now let the world see it.
Wednesday, January 16, 2013
Taking Tests
When I was in school, I was a lazy student. I really didn't study much. I mostly did my homework 5-10 minutes before it was due and accepted whatever grade I got. Of course, my homework grades tended to be not very good. How did I pass then? I was a great test taker. Usually, I would do a little cramming the morning of the test and then that was it. I would just relax my mind and take the test. I always did real well on tests. Even in college, I would see my fellow students cramming all the way up until the final minute...attempting to stuff as much information into their memory as possible. But me, I would just sit calmly waiting for the test to begin. I was almost always the first to finish the test also. People looked at me in amazement. Homework and studying? Nah, I got this test taking bit down pat.
But in the other parts of my life, I was basically a failure at taking tests. You see, one of the metaphors that the Bible says about life is that it is a test. God continually tests our character, our faith, our loyalty, our love, our integrity. All of life is a test. We are constantly being tested. God is constantly watching how you respond to people, success, problems, disappointment, illness, conflict, even the weather.
In school, I was tested on my knowledge of a particular subject. Theoretically, if I passed the test I would move on to the next chapter. If I failed, I was showing that I had not learned the lessons that I was being tested on. Same thing in life. But something went wrong between school and life. I went from being a great test taker in school to being a horrible test taker in life. I failed tests over and over again. God would give me a make-up exam and I would fail again. Sometimes I might pass a small test only to fail the same test a week later. It took me a long time to figure out that I wasn't advancing. Physically, I was an adult. Spiritually, I should have been much further ahead than what I was. Instead, I was like a floundering fifth grader struggling to learn the multiplication table.
Finally, I reasoned that this wasn't working the way I wanted. I started to look back at my past tests and failures. I started to learn where I had gone wrong. Hmmmm, the same red X's were showing up in my life. I was getting certain lessons wrong over and over. This is what started my quest for personal improvement. This learning, this development has been a long process. Similar to getting any education, the learning takes years of dedicated effort. And my reward? More lessons. More tests. Passing one level of tests only qualifies you for the next level. I don't know if Life University offers any degrees but I do know they conduct a lot of testing. And every time you fail a test you are guaranteed to repeat it. Even if you pass it, you can expect a pop quiz over it somewhere down the road...just to insure you haven't forgotten.
So go back and review the tests in your own life. See where you have failed and if they are the same things or not. Study on how to improve those areas and put in the time and effort to ace that test. It's up to you, though. You can keep failing the same tests and, therefore, keep getting the same results in your life to test you. Or, you can be like James in the Bible. James 1:2-4 "Consider it all joy when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing." I'm working on being perfect and complete. How about you?
But in the other parts of my life, I was basically a failure at taking tests. You see, one of the metaphors that the Bible says about life is that it is a test. God continually tests our character, our faith, our loyalty, our love, our integrity. All of life is a test. We are constantly being tested. God is constantly watching how you respond to people, success, problems, disappointment, illness, conflict, even the weather.
In school, I was tested on my knowledge of a particular subject. Theoretically, if I passed the test I would move on to the next chapter. If I failed, I was showing that I had not learned the lessons that I was being tested on. Same thing in life. But something went wrong between school and life. I went from being a great test taker in school to being a horrible test taker in life. I failed tests over and over again. God would give me a make-up exam and I would fail again. Sometimes I might pass a small test only to fail the same test a week later. It took me a long time to figure out that I wasn't advancing. Physically, I was an adult. Spiritually, I should have been much further ahead than what I was. Instead, I was like a floundering fifth grader struggling to learn the multiplication table.
Finally, I reasoned that this wasn't working the way I wanted. I started to look back at my past tests and failures. I started to learn where I had gone wrong. Hmmmm, the same red X's were showing up in my life. I was getting certain lessons wrong over and over. This is what started my quest for personal improvement. This learning, this development has been a long process. Similar to getting any education, the learning takes years of dedicated effort. And my reward? More lessons. More tests. Passing one level of tests only qualifies you for the next level. I don't know if Life University offers any degrees but I do know they conduct a lot of testing. And every time you fail a test you are guaranteed to repeat it. Even if you pass it, you can expect a pop quiz over it somewhere down the road...just to insure you haven't forgotten.
So go back and review the tests in your own life. See where you have failed and if they are the same things or not. Study on how to improve those areas and put in the time and effort to ace that test. It's up to you, though. You can keep failing the same tests and, therefore, keep getting the same results in your life to test you. Or, you can be like James in the Bible. James 1:2-4 "Consider it all joy when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing." I'm working on being perfect and complete. How about you?
Monday, January 14, 2013
Don't Quit
Yesterday, I was watching the NFL playoffs. For those of you outside the USA, this is American football. The two teams playing were Atlanta and Seattle. At first, it appeared that the game would be rather boring. Atlanta had a very big lead early in the game and it looked as if Seattle would not be able to come back from such a big deficit.
But Seattle did come back. And with only 31 seconds left in the game, Seattle scored to take the lead. They had not quit on themselves. They had not given up the belief that they come overcome the early deficit and still win the game. And there they were, 31 seconds away from victory. They were playing the game at Atlanta's stadium and their fans were heartbroken, knowing that it would be nearly impossible for their team to score again with such precious little time remaining.
But Atlanta didn't quit, either. They quickly moved the ball down the field until they were close enough to score with 13 seconds left. Their kicker scored the points that gave them the lead again. Even so, Seattle came close to taking back the lead on the final play of the game. It was thrilling to watch. Neither team ever quitting on themselves or on their teammates. Both teams could have quit. Seattle could have quit when they were so far behind. But they didn't. Atlanta could have quit when they lost the lead with only 31 seconds left to play. But they didn't.
And there's a lesson in this for all of us to learn. No matter how much life has you down, don't quit. No matter how far behind you are on reaching your goals and achieving your dreams, don't quit. Likewise, no matter how good things are going for you, don't give up....don't quit putting out the effort that allowed you to have it so good in the first place. Don't quit on your dreams. Don't quit on your goals. Don't quit on your relationships. Don't quit on yourself. Just......don't quit.
But Seattle did come back. And with only 31 seconds left in the game, Seattle scored to take the lead. They had not quit on themselves. They had not given up the belief that they come overcome the early deficit and still win the game. And there they were, 31 seconds away from victory. They were playing the game at Atlanta's stadium and their fans were heartbroken, knowing that it would be nearly impossible for their team to score again with such precious little time remaining.
But Atlanta didn't quit, either. They quickly moved the ball down the field until they were close enough to score with 13 seconds left. Their kicker scored the points that gave them the lead again. Even so, Seattle came close to taking back the lead on the final play of the game. It was thrilling to watch. Neither team ever quitting on themselves or on their teammates. Both teams could have quit. Seattle could have quit when they were so far behind. But they didn't. Atlanta could have quit when they lost the lead with only 31 seconds left to play. But they didn't.
And there's a lesson in this for all of us to learn. No matter how much life has you down, don't quit. No matter how far behind you are on reaching your goals and achieving your dreams, don't quit. Likewise, no matter how good things are going for you, don't give up....don't quit putting out the effort that allowed you to have it so good in the first place. Don't quit on your dreams. Don't quit on your goals. Don't quit on your relationships. Don't quit on yourself. Just......don't quit.
Tuesday, January 8, 2013
I Like Being Recognized
I like to be recognized for when I do something good. How about you? If you are like most people, and I think you are, then you love to be recognized for your efforts. Last night, I went to a meeting at church and was pleasantly surprised to be named Volunteer of the Month for December. What a nice honor. I received a certificate and had all my peers congratulating me. I was proud. Some of you may say, what's the big deal?
Well, recognition is a prize that a person gets for positive behavior. If you reward that positive behavior, you will get more positive behavior. Then, you give more reward and get more positive behavior and so on. The recognition becomes a motivator. It lets people know that their performance was valued. It builds confidence for future behavior and performance. And it makes people happy. And happier people are positive people.
You don't need to be a supervisor or a manager to recognize good performance. How many of you are parents? How about recognizing your child for their positive behaviors? Do that consistently and see what happens to your child. Is the clerk at the convenience store especially nice? Then tell them so. Thank them for being very friendly and helpful and let them know how happy you are to see them when you come into the store. Begin consistently recognizing the positives that your spouse does. You can do this with anyone. Your child's teacher, a receptionist, a barista, a restaurant server....the list is endless.
When I was a restaurant manager, there was a couple who were regulars. They always made it a point to stick their head in the window to the kitchen and told the cooks what a great job they were doing. On some occasions, they even tipped the cooks. The cooks worked amazingly better after one of those episodes. They felt more pride in what they were doing. They were motivated to put their best effort into their work. They were happier. And that is what a little recognition can do.
If you want better results from people, you are going to have to recognize the good they are already doing. Sometimes it is hard to find the good that someone is doing. But if you don't recognize and reward that small positive behavior then you are unlikely to get anything more from them. I had a guy who worked for me when I was a Marine in California. No one else wanted anything to do with him. But I never had a problem with him. Everyone else wanted to yell at him and belittle him for being a screwup. I never did that with him. I yelled at others because that's what they needed to perform better. But not this guy. He made me look like a genius or some kind of great leader. I wasn't either one. I was just someone who saw the positives this guy was doing and recognized him for it.
And that's what I want you to do. I want you to recognize people in your life who are doing something positive so you can get more of that behavior. Or maybe you want them to perform better than they are. Either way, the key lies in rewarding the positive performance they are giving now. It may be a small gift or just a sincere thank you. Whatever it is, make sure you reference the behaviors that you want more of. I can assure you through my experience, you will love the results you elicit from others. Have a great day!!
Well, recognition is a prize that a person gets for positive behavior. If you reward that positive behavior, you will get more positive behavior. Then, you give more reward and get more positive behavior and so on. The recognition becomes a motivator. It lets people know that their performance was valued. It builds confidence for future behavior and performance. And it makes people happy. And happier people are positive people.
You don't need to be a supervisor or a manager to recognize good performance. How many of you are parents? How about recognizing your child for their positive behaviors? Do that consistently and see what happens to your child. Is the clerk at the convenience store especially nice? Then tell them so. Thank them for being very friendly and helpful and let them know how happy you are to see them when you come into the store. Begin consistently recognizing the positives that your spouse does. You can do this with anyone. Your child's teacher, a receptionist, a barista, a restaurant server....the list is endless.
When I was a restaurant manager, there was a couple who were regulars. They always made it a point to stick their head in the window to the kitchen and told the cooks what a great job they were doing. On some occasions, they even tipped the cooks. The cooks worked amazingly better after one of those episodes. They felt more pride in what they were doing. They were motivated to put their best effort into their work. They were happier. And that is what a little recognition can do.
If you want better results from people, you are going to have to recognize the good they are already doing. Sometimes it is hard to find the good that someone is doing. But if you don't recognize and reward that small positive behavior then you are unlikely to get anything more from them. I had a guy who worked for me when I was a Marine in California. No one else wanted anything to do with him. But I never had a problem with him. Everyone else wanted to yell at him and belittle him for being a screwup. I never did that with him. I yelled at others because that's what they needed to perform better. But not this guy. He made me look like a genius or some kind of great leader. I wasn't either one. I was just someone who saw the positives this guy was doing and recognized him for it.
And that's what I want you to do. I want you to recognize people in your life who are doing something positive so you can get more of that behavior. Or maybe you want them to perform better than they are. Either way, the key lies in rewarding the positive performance they are giving now. It may be a small gift or just a sincere thank you. Whatever it is, make sure you reference the behaviors that you want more of. I can assure you through my experience, you will love the results you elicit from others. Have a great day!!
Monday, January 7, 2013
Feeling Guilty?
Do you feel guilty? Have you done something in your life that you wish you could take back? Sure you have. We all have. And, chances are, we have all felt some guilt for some of those things we did or said. But, I'm going to ask you to do something.......let the guilt go. Just let it go. Release it.
Guilt is a very destructive emotion. It keeps us in bondage, chained to the events of our past. I have one such event from my life that I have held onto for many years. I did something that created a huge negative response and I have always felt guilty for it. Many times throughout the years, I have told myself to get over it. But I have purposely held onto my guilty feelings. And I did so because I never wanted to forget what I had done so that I would know to never repeat it again.
But now, I'm going to release it. Not because I want to do wrong again but because I'm done with the horrible feelings that I place upon myself. You see, the guilt is good to have at first. It allows us to be convicted of our actions and to repent from continuing to do the same things. But if you stay in guilt, then you are destroying yourself. You are punishing yourself long after the consequences have worn off. You are keeping yourself in a prison long after you have learned the lessons from your acts.
I know some of you have similar experiences in your own life. Today, free yourself emotionally. You will not be condoning those events. You will not be allowing yourself to commit other acts for which you would feel guilt. Instead, you will be accepting the consequences that were already placed upon you. You will be accepting the lessons that you learned from the experience. And you will removing a great weight from your heart in the process. Freeing yourself emotionally will renew yourself energetically. Do it today!!
Guilt is a very destructive emotion. It keeps us in bondage, chained to the events of our past. I have one such event from my life that I have held onto for many years. I did something that created a huge negative response and I have always felt guilty for it. Many times throughout the years, I have told myself to get over it. But I have purposely held onto my guilty feelings. And I did so because I never wanted to forget what I had done so that I would know to never repeat it again.
But now, I'm going to release it. Not because I want to do wrong again but because I'm done with the horrible feelings that I place upon myself. You see, the guilt is good to have at first. It allows us to be convicted of our actions and to repent from continuing to do the same things. But if you stay in guilt, then you are destroying yourself. You are punishing yourself long after the consequences have worn off. You are keeping yourself in a prison long after you have learned the lessons from your acts.
I know some of you have similar experiences in your own life. Today, free yourself emotionally. You will not be condoning those events. You will not be allowing yourself to commit other acts for which you would feel guilt. Instead, you will be accepting the consequences that were already placed upon you. You will be accepting the lessons that you learned from the experience. And you will removing a great weight from your heart in the process. Freeing yourself emotionally will renew yourself energetically. Do it today!!
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
My New Year's
I have to say that my New Year's Eve really sucked. I had to deal with some personal issues that day and it pretty much took the afternoon and into the evening. I wasn't going out anyway, but so much for just relaxing. Looking back on it now I guess I should be happy that the crappy day was still in 2012 and not the first day of 2013.
And that leads me to New Year's Day. I was walking through a store in the late morning when a man stepped in front of me and blocked the aisle. It made me angry because he had looked up and saw me coming and so it appeared as if he was blocking me on purpose. I looked at him and he was smiling at me. I'm thinking, what in the world is his problem. I chalked it up to "Austin people" and slipped past him.
Not long after that, I went to eat lunch. I was sitting by myself and this lady, who was at least 80 years old, came up to me and said Happy New Year. I smiled and wished her the same. But then she looked real hard at me and said, God Bless You and then turned and walked out of the restaurant. In that moment, I had to fight the urge to cry. How did she know I needed an encouraging word?
A little later in the afternoon, I saw a man that I probably see almost everyday. We have never spoken before. But today, he walks up to me and just starts a random conversation and we ended talking for about 20 minutes. It wasn't until last night, when I was winding down and thinking upon the days events that it all started to come together for me.
The smiling man, the older lady, the man I see everyday.....they had engaged me with a smile, a good word, a gentle conversation. But how did they know I needed that? I didn't even know I needed it. I must have been carrying around with me the concerns of the day before. Maybe they could sense it. Or maybe.....maybe God tapped them on the shoulder and whispered in their ear. In that moment, they acted on an inner urge to do something good to someone. And not just anyone, but ME!!! All three. In the same day.
To the three people who helped pick me up throughout the day yesterday, I say thank you. To the God who inspired them to do so, I say thank you. I have a couple of prayers regarding this. One, may these three people continue to shine the light of God through their words and actions. Two, may the rest of us learn to do the same. Have a wonderful 2013.
And that leads me to New Year's Day. I was walking through a store in the late morning when a man stepped in front of me and blocked the aisle. It made me angry because he had looked up and saw me coming and so it appeared as if he was blocking me on purpose. I looked at him and he was smiling at me. I'm thinking, what in the world is his problem. I chalked it up to "Austin people" and slipped past him.
Not long after that, I went to eat lunch. I was sitting by myself and this lady, who was at least 80 years old, came up to me and said Happy New Year. I smiled and wished her the same. But then she looked real hard at me and said, God Bless You and then turned and walked out of the restaurant. In that moment, I had to fight the urge to cry. How did she know I needed an encouraging word?
A little later in the afternoon, I saw a man that I probably see almost everyday. We have never spoken before. But today, he walks up to me and just starts a random conversation and we ended talking for about 20 minutes. It wasn't until last night, when I was winding down and thinking upon the days events that it all started to come together for me.
The smiling man, the older lady, the man I see everyday.....they had engaged me with a smile, a good word, a gentle conversation. But how did they know I needed that? I didn't even know I needed it. I must have been carrying around with me the concerns of the day before. Maybe they could sense it. Or maybe.....maybe God tapped them on the shoulder and whispered in their ear. In that moment, they acted on an inner urge to do something good to someone. And not just anyone, but ME!!! All three. In the same day.
To the three people who helped pick me up throughout the day yesterday, I say thank you. To the God who inspired them to do so, I say thank you. I have a couple of prayers regarding this. One, may these three people continue to shine the light of God through their words and actions. Two, may the rest of us learn to do the same. Have a wonderful 2013.
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
Alpha and Omega
In the Bible, God says that He is the Alpha and the Omega. This means that he is the beginning and the end. But what about everything in between? Who creates our experiences? Who creates our situations in life? Well that, my friends, is us. We didn't create the world and we won't be the ones to end the world. But we are the ones who create everything else. And we do this by using our God-given talents and gifts.
I remember when I was a little kid in school and the teacher would pass out a blank sheet of paper to every kid. Then, she would give us each 3-4 crayons and tell us to create a masterpiece. It always seemed that I would look at the colors given to me and wonder how I was going to create anything. "If only"....I had that color the kid next to me had. THEN I could create something wonderful. But with these colors.....sheesh, impossible.
And aren't we still like that as adults? We rarely are happy with the gifts and talents we have been given. We look at others and think they have better than we have. "If only"...I had the personality that person has. "If only"...I had the looks of that person. "If only"...I could speak as well as they do. "If only".....blah, blah, blah. And the ridiculous thing is, other people are looking at us wishing they had what we have.
Guess what? You got what you got. You can't go to WalMart and buy a new talent. You can only use what you have. You can strengthen it and make it better or you can neglect it. But if you choose to neglect your talents, then your life will never be as great as it could have been. You will never be as fulfilled as you would have. The world will not be as improved as it should have been.
So, start using what the Good Lord gave you. You were given those talents and gifts for a reason.....to use them. To create a masterpiece with them.
I remember when I was a little kid in school and the teacher would pass out a blank sheet of paper to every kid. Then, she would give us each 3-4 crayons and tell us to create a masterpiece. It always seemed that I would look at the colors given to me and wonder how I was going to create anything. "If only"....I had that color the kid next to me had. THEN I could create something wonderful. But with these colors.....sheesh, impossible.
And aren't we still like that as adults? We rarely are happy with the gifts and talents we have been given. We look at others and think they have better than we have. "If only"...I had the personality that person has. "If only"...I had the looks of that person. "If only"...I could speak as well as they do. "If only".....blah, blah, blah. And the ridiculous thing is, other people are looking at us wishing they had what we have.
Guess what? You got what you got. You can't go to WalMart and buy a new talent. You can only use what you have. You can strengthen it and make it better or you can neglect it. But if you choose to neglect your talents, then your life will never be as great as it could have been. You will never be as fulfilled as you would have. The world will not be as improved as it should have been.
So, start using what the Good Lord gave you. You were given those talents and gifts for a reason.....to use them. To create a masterpiece with them.
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